Talk that talk and I will walk the walk. In the other direction.

Writing has been hard for me as of late. I'm known to write my best when I am raw but let's just say I've been just a little too raw this past year. My writing has suffered on account of it as has my photography.
But one thing that hasn't changed or more that has been magnified during this past year is what I accept and don't from others.

"Don't worry, it will get better." 

I've walked away from a couple of decades old friendships on this words. To this day it baffles me how one can respond with this weak ass response, especially from a so called 'good friend'. I mean is that ALL you got?? Gimme a break.
I have never ever responded in this manner when a friend comes to me with problems or heartache. I give 110% to close friends. Pardon me if I expect the same back. 
It is simply a weak ass cop out of a response and I am not here for it. I just laid my heart out (it takes me a LOT to even do on any given day) I'm looking for support, for friendship and I get a 'Don't worry it will get better'??  It insults me to no end and it well states my position on the ladder of our so called 'friendship'. So yeah, I'm stepping off those rungs.. I foolishly thought it was a stronger ladder. 


Being 'ghosted'

Another decades long friendship I walked away from and I knew it was time. I was ghosted for the third time via text and yup, 3rd time's the charm for me. I mean, you didn't have enough of the first two times, Jamie?? This one's a my bad on my part.
Yes, there are times I've taken a bit too long to respond but I do answer back after profusely apologizing. Either I read it and was distracted or I am famous for forgetting to take my cell off silent. 
I was ghosted by someone who matters the world to me so it goes without saying I won't accept it by anyone else.

Ain't no one got time for that. . especially me. I deserve more, I deserve better. 

Yes, colour matters

 

In the world of painting that is. Like a photograph if it makes the viewer feel something then it is successful. These colours grabbed me and the paintings calmed me. Which I needed. 

I'm not a 'professional' painter and I am well aware of my 'mistakes'  but overall I am satisfied with them. After painting hubby's one I needed something slow and calming.  

How I wish I could walk into these paintings and stay a while, just to visit and allow them to sooth. I want to follow her through that archway to see what's on the other side. I want to hold my hand out and invite the little bird to share his song with me and I want to cross the bridge and sit in the wee church. 

I want to find my peace again and I can't but at least I find it for a little while when I paint. 
  

This, that and the other thing.

 

When I get my stubborn on you won't win. Truth be told this trips my anxiety to a solid 9 but I WILL win this war. This is hubby's 'job' and I'll fill the closet up to the rafters before I do anything. And even then I'll not give in. pfffhhhhtt 

A salute to all farmers out there and full respect. Which they don't get enough of already. And can someone do a rain dance? They are in desperate need of some. 

When you watch your Tin Lizzy being towed away only to get a bill of 245$ ( 85$ of that for an oil change ) for them to run diagnostics and change the battery on one's key fob. Which, by the way, I had told them I ALREADY had put a bloody new battery in it. We are all at technology's mercy nowadays. Give me a good old fashioned ignition that starts with a KEY sigh

It's not often my husband asks me to paint him something. I can tell you his taste in art is different to mine but there is a story behind this one and I get why he's drawn to it. I'm pleased at the outcome of this piece and happier still he really really liked the result. When I paint or do photography for those close to me I get nervous such is my want of perfection for them. Uncomfortable feeling because I'm not a perfectionist in the least.  

Well well it's been a minute, ya?

                                                        ( google image )

Okay Honey pick your chin off the floor.. Yeah I vanished and took my blog with me ( like 8 yrs ago but who's counting ) aaaand looky here I'm back alright! ( push over Backstreet Boys. .that song will now live rent free in your head ALL day ) 

Yup back and umm a wee bit older. Not necessarily wiser, not necessarily more judgy. ( okay okay maybe just a bit ) Just less willing to take B.S . Life kinda threw me lemons but not only did I make lemonade I threw in Vodka to make it go down smoother 😎 Cause that's how I roll. 

Seriously though, writing is cathartic for me and although I've kept it up ( barely ) through small posts on FB, it's just not the same as here. I don't twitter, tried it and couldn't keep it up. I did enjoy Instagram for my photography but Covid put the kibosh on that. That's something I REALLY need to pick up again. Like writing, photography was/is my happy place. 

I did some research and apparently Blogger has fallen somewhat in popularity but it's still 'home' to me and loyal to the end I am. This is my 'known' and where my comfort level lays. Okay let's call a spade a spade, I'm not interested in other blogging sites, I don't have in time of day or inclination to learn the mechanisms and nuances of those new sites. 
No it won't get me more viewers or will I gain popularity but if you know me in RL you know this isn't what I am after. 
I just want to put into words what I am going through, the good the bad and the ugly. It's how I process when I simply can't do it mentally or emotionally. It's not always going to be 'heavy' that just weighs too much. It'll be a bit about this that and the other thing. 

So jump in buckle up and let's go for a ride together. We'll see where we end up. (mind you with the price of gas these days we ain't going far sheesh! ) 

After all life's too short for bad wine.